7 Check List (for Christians) Before Being in a Relationship
Well, this is just a re-written and modified (I say modified because I have added some Bible articles) note. I get these note and knowledge just from God, who talked to me through His servant, Ps. Philip Mantofa. While learning, i just want to share this good thought, to those, including me, who are in a seeking life partner (read: couple) hehehe.
Being in a relationship means on the way to a marriage, and marriage, for Christians, can not be separated but the death.
“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” – 2 Timothy 3:16 –
Here are 7 check lists before you and I choose and decide to be with someone as our future couple.
- Choose someone with commitment to growing in Christ personally.
Not only having faith to Jesus, but also growing in Him. Be careful with someone who depending his/her own spiritual growth on you only. For example, those who like to threaten to leave God if he/she will be separated by his/her couple. It is totally wrong! We know very well that everyone need others and no one can stand alone. However, faith is personal business.
“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.” – Psalms 71:5 –
- Choose someone with vision of life to pleasing God.
Find someone whose vision of life is productive; which mean, those who have clear goal, whatever his/her job is. Ask him/her about his/her job or career. Ask him/her about what is his/her plan in life and what is his/her career purpose and his/her family purpose plan in the future. Assess “does he/she involve God or not?”.
“Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.” – Matthew 7:21 –
- Choose someone with honesty.
Honesty means someone’s sincerity which is not incoherent nor hiding something’s wrong. Examine whether in a small thing he/she likes to prevaricate or not, because a liar will not be a good couple. No one is perfect, but honesty is a must. Without it, a relationship will come to an obscurity.
“The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” – Proverbs 12:19 –
- Choose someone with both maturity and responsibility.
Age is not a warranty of someone’s maturity. Identify someone from the way he/she thinks about the life and the others. The best way to measure someone’s maturity is from his/her action in a moment of pressure, it is a thing to separate a real man from common men, a wise woman from common women. That’s why, be friend firstly and do not be hurried.
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21 –
- Choose someone with good self-figure.
Anyone will not be able to love his/her couple if he/she is not able to love him/herself first. Good self-figure is the beginning of a good relationship. Anonym of “good self-figure” are so many, for example: binding too strictly before any relationship, being over jealousy, tending to threaten a suicide. By viewing on how someone to take care of him/herself and listening to any of his/her opinion about his/her own life, we can find so many things about his/her self-figure.
“Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.” – Jeremiah 17:7 –
- Choose someone with positive attitude about life.
Positive attitude is an asset in a marriage. Just imagine if you have to live with someone who often complaining everything in your whole life. Complaining, occasionally, is natural, but having both steadily bitter and negative heart is a life choice. Choose to living with someone who surely smiles for the future!
“Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer” – Romans 12:12 –
- Choose someone that you love.
Love, which will bring us to a marriage. Fascinated feeling to your couple, is one of the last 7 check list, not because of unimportant, but to encourage you to choose your couple objectively, and to consider your couple criteria. Without love, do not ever step to a marriage just because you are constrained. Even the feeling may go after, romance is a must!
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22 –
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” – Ephesians 5:25 –